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Maryville, Mo. —
The last couple of columns utilizing a golfing topic have really been hot as far as response from the reading public is concerned.
I may have had more input somewhere along the line — but I’m not sure I remember when. Maybe when I tried to list the country music songs I had picked up on various radio stations as I drove cross-country, through Texas, to California — and back.
I had savored the compliments on the golfing theme and was all prepared to use that as the next peg — that’s an old newspaper reporter term for the central theme of a story. You know, like the peg you hang your story on is the single most important, or interesting, piece of the effort. The topic sentence, if you will.
See, I got an email from an old golfing buddy from back in Montana which purported to actually explain how golf got its name.
According to him, many years ago in Scotland when the new game was invented, the rules were both extensive and explicit.
One rule in particular was simply, “Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden.”
And thus, the word “GOLF” entered into the English language.
But that was only a part of his contribution toward reducing my ignorance of the odd, if not interesting, lore of the game. Another bit actually caught my attention because of how I have a penchant for complaining about the placement of hazards on a course. You know like sand traps, and water hazards. Even trees.
But I have to hand it to the Brits for their toughness during the early 1940s when World War II German aircraft from Norway would fly missions to northern England.
Due to the icy weather conditions, the barrels of their machine guns were treated with a small dab of wax to protect them. As they crossed onto the mainland, they would clear their guns by firing a few rounds at
the golf courses.
Golfers were urged to take cover.
Temporary rules were even posted, like these from 19490 for the course in Richmond:
“1. Players are asked to collect Bomb and Shrapnel splinters to save these causing danger to the Mowing Machines.
“ 2. In Competitions, during gunfire or when bombs are falling, players may take cover without penalty for ceasing play.
“3. The positions of known delayed action bombs are marked by red flags at a reasonably, but not guaranteed, safe distance therefrom.
The last couple of columns utilizing a golfing topic have really been hot as far as response from the reading public is concerned.
I may have had more input somewhere along the line — but I’m not sure I remember when. Maybe when I tried to list the country music songs I had picked up on various radio stations as I drove cross-country, through Texas, to California — and back.
I had savored the compliments on the golfing theme and was all prepared to use that as the next peg — that’s an old newspaper reporter term for the central theme of a story. You know, like the peg you hang your story on is the single most important, or interesting, piece of the effort. The topic sentence, if you will.
See, I got an email from an old golfing buddy from back in Montana which purported to actually explain how golf got its name.
According to him, many years ago in Scotland when the new game was invented, the rules were both extensive and explicit.
One rule in particular was simply, “Gentlemen Only ... Ladies Forbidden.”
And thus, the word “GOLF” entered into the English language.
But that was only a part of his contribution toward reducing my ignorance of the odd, if not interesting, lore of the game. Another bit actually caught my attention because of how I have a penchant for complaining about the placement of hazards on a course. You know like sand traps, and water hazards. Even trees.
But I have to hand it to the Brits for their toughness during the early 1940s when World War II German aircraft from Norway would fly missions to northern England.
Due to the icy weather conditions, the barrels of their machine guns were treated with a small dab of wax to protect them. As they crossed onto the mainland, they would clear their guns by firing a few rounds at
the golf courses.
Golfers were urged to take cover.
Temporary rules were even posted, like these from 19490 for the course in Richmond:
“1. Players are asked to collect Bomb and Shrapnel splinters to save these causing danger to the Mowing Machines.
“ 2. In Competitions, during gunfire or when bombs are falling, players may take cover without penalty for ceasing play.
“3. The positions of known delayed action bombs are marked by red flags at a reasonably, but not guaranteed, safe distance therefrom.
“4. Shrapnel and/or bomb splinters on the Fairway, or in Bunkers within a club’s length of a ball, may be removed without penalty; and no penalty shall be incurred if a ball is thereby caused to move accidentally.
“5. A ball moved by enemy action may be replaced, or if lost or destroyed, a ball may be dropped not nearer the hole without penalty.
“6. A ball lying in a crater may be lifted and dropped not nearer the hole, preserving the line to the hole, without penalty.
“7. A player whose stroke is affected by the simultaneous explosion of a bomb may play another ball from the same place. Penalty one stroke.”
Those sound fair enough to me.
Although I doubt I would have ever taken up the game under the same circumstances.
But all of that sort of talk would have been totally discarded today, had it not been for the following, hopefully redeeming observations.
We men are instructed to be kind to our wives and lovers, at least in part because of a 1400s law set forth in England stating that a man was allowed to beat his wife with a stick no thicker than his thumb.
Hence today, we have the “rule of thumb.”
In case you are having a bit of trouble justifying spending for a expensive Valentine’s Day gift for your sweetie, just remember that if you have a medium-size dog that is about 10 years old, you have most likely already spent more than $16,000 on it.
Does that put things in better perspective for you?
Here’s another semi-romantic little piece of information for you to consider.
It was the accepted practice in Babylon 4,000 years ago that for a month after the wedding, the bride's father would supply his son-in-law with all the mead he could drink.
Mead is a honey beer and because their calendar of the time was lunar based, this period was called the honey month, which we know today as the honeymoon.
And, the affection you build during that time should never waiver. Why? Because honey is the only food that doesn’t spoil.
I trying to help you out here, guys. Stick with me and figure some way to slip at least a couple of these more tender morsels into conversations with your sweetheart today.
Just remind her, “If you live to be 100, I want to live to be 100 minus one day so I never have to live without you.” It worked for A.A. Milne, why not you?
Or, if today holds true to the forecasts, try this:
“Eskimos have 52 names for snow because it is so important to them. There ought to be as many for love.”
Or if you’re stuck on the honey track, drop this bit of Victor Hugo into your conversation:
“Life is the flower for which love is the honey.”
Jim Fall is a local weekly columnist. He is a former publisher of the Maryville Daily Forum.
