I’m writing this on April Fool's Day. That may not be the best day in the year to concentrate on writing — what with dodging all the jokes thrown at you and all — but I decided it's an opportune time to share with you an April Fool's joke that was played on me a few years back.
Now, this joke really got me. It really stopped old Connie in her tracks. It was embarrassing at the time, but as I look back on the experience, it was really quite funny.
"I was a substitute teacher at the time — in the middle of a maternity leave — so I was at this particular school for more than six weeks straight.
I must digress for a minute here. I enjoyed the years I did substitute teaching so much. I subbed in eight different schools in Nodaway and Atchison Counties. I got to know so many wonderful teachers and administrators. I especially was able to interact with hundreds of great students from kindergarten age through high school.
One day I might have substituted for the music teacher. The next day it may have been the kindergarten teacher. And yet another day I might have been asked to teach ag mechanics. Such a well-rounded person I was to become!
Anyway, at the time of this particular April Fool's Day, I was subbing in one of my very favorite school districts. I had come to know everyone there very well. I still keep in contact with most of the teachers and many of the students still take time to talk to me when they see me.
I hadn't paid much attention to the fact that it was April first when I started out the door that morning. As I drove to school, I think I heard a few quips about pranks being played, but I hadn't given it much thought.
As I walked in the doors, preparing to go to "my" classroom, the secretary stopped me, handed me a sticky note and said I was to call the number listed and ask for the person whose name appeared on the paper. She also invited me to come to the office prior to the early morning bell to celebrate one of the staff member's birthday.
I proceeded to the classroom, only stopping briefly to look at the note. Not recognizing the name, I wondered who this person was and what they wanted with me.
I busied myself, preparing the room for the first hour class. When it was about 15 minutes before time for the morning bell, I left the room and went into the office for my piece of the birthday cake. (Heaven forbid I miss out on a sweet treat!)
As teachers, administrators, custodians and cooks gathered to celebrate their co-worker's special day, the secretary told me that right then would be a good time to make that call. What's the hurry — right?
I was a bit intimidated about calling someone I didn't know in front of all of these people I had come to care about so much.
What if it was someone who was going to tell me off about something? Was it a message from a doctor with bad news? What if I was going to get some embarrassing news about either myself or one of my kids?
I stepped as far away from the people gathered as I possibly could. I slightly turned my back to them as I dialed the phone.
A receptionist at a local funeral home greeted my call. Confused, I spoke as quietly as I could as I asked for the person whose name appeared on that sticky note.
"This is Connie Goff — could I speak to Myra Maines?" I said.
"As the words came out of my mouth — as I heard them uttered out loud — I knew I'd been duped. (Think about it. Say it out loud yourself! — you'll see what I mean!)
I looked around. There, standing shoulder to shoulder, were a room full of people I thought I knew — people I thought liked me — who were supposed to be my friends. Laughing. Many of them were bent over, tears in their eyes — laughing. All of the laughing!
The word deceit came to my mind — trickery, misleading, fraud, underhanded, cheats. I kept thinking of words to describe what had just happened to me.
First I couldn't believe my friends would be responsible for such an embarrassing trick.
But then I realized how foolish it was of me to get caught in such a way.
Why hadn't I spoken that name out loud? Why didn't I know before entering that office what the trick was and how I could have handled it gracefully? Why had I allowed myself to be caught in such a trap?
Because I'm totally gullable — totally naive, easily deceived — unsophisticated — that's why!
I laughed with them. I ate my slice of cake. I walked with as much dignity and pride as I could back to the classroom in which I soon would welcome a couple dozen students. I took a deep breath and continued with my day — April Fool's Day.
And I vowed I would never, ever be caught up in such a trick again!
I hope your April Fool's Day was uneventful unless you were the jokester. And I hope your Easter weekend with your family or friends was delightful.
–Connie Goff is a reporter and weekly columnist for the Maryville Daily Forum.
