When a young couple falls in love and marries, the next step in their life together is often adding children to their family.
Some couples find road blocks along their way –– sometimes infertility issues occur.
For some, the choice to adopt children is simple. For others, it's a decision they must search for.
The Jacobson and Perkins families represent two very different experiences with adoption. In both situations, the couples have a child they love and feel was meant to be part of their family.
Larry and Cris Jacobson talked about adopting children from their very first meeting. In April 2007 they sent out their application for an international adoption.
The couple traveled to Vietnam on Nov. 1, 2008, and three days later 16-month-old Eli Tuan became their son.
"We know many people who have been adopted or have chosen to build their families through adoption," Cris said. "We chose to adopt internationally but that is not the only option."
Adoption was not an easy decision for Darren and Cynthia Perkins. After they tried to have a second child for several years, they decided to file papers with their church social services department for adoption. Their biological son, Darrel, was 10 years old at the time.
"We were not too open to the idea of adoption at first," Cynthia said. "This was a spiritual journey for us –– as it is for a lot of people."
The Jacobsons went through Holt International for their adoption. Since the 1950s Holt International has placed more than 40,000 children with adoptive families. The company is committed to serving all members of the adoption triad –– birth parents, adoptees and adoptive parents –– throughout their lives.
The Jacobsons said they were a little unsure of the adoption process at first, but it turned out to be much easier than they had imagined.
"Our agency, Holt International, guided us through the process of adoption and our trip to Vietnam to get Eli," Cris said. "The entire process took about a year and a half. We traveled last November to Vietnam to get Eli."
Eli came from the southern region of Vietnam. Larry and Cris said it is beautiful there and the people were amazing.
"We fell in love not only with Eli, but with Vietnam as well, and can't wait to go back to visit," Cris said. "We keep in contact with other children from Eli's province via emails. One of the boys is now living with his family in Kansas City, Kan. and we get together every once in awhile. We also send emails and pictures periodically to the Holt and Orphanage staff in Vietnam."
The Jacobson's spent a little more than two weeks in Vietnam –– a few days in Ho Chi Minh City and the rest in Hanoi.
"We also took a day trip to Ha Long Bay in northern Vietnam," Larry said. "It was amazing. The Vietnamese people were very receptive to us and would ask if we adopted Eli. Many people we encountered commented on how big and healthy Eli was for his age or tell us he was a lucky boy."
Cynthia Perkins said the No. 1 piece of advice she would give a couple who is considering adoption is to be patient.
"It took about two years from the time we put in our application until Amber was placed in our home," she said. "Some couples wait longer."
The Perkins' family chose a closed adoption where the paper work is sealed.
"We would need a court order to open the paper work," Cynthia said. "And then it would only be for health or medical reasons."
When the baby was placed with the adoption agency, she became a ward of the state; however, she was in foster care only two days. Then Amber Crystal Perkins, who was born April 12, 1998, was placed in their home –– she was one year and one week old. The adoption was final after six months.
"Amber was a perfect fit for us," Cynthia said. "She blended right into the family. When she was younger, she couldn't figure out why she had different colored hair. She's a blonde, her brother and I have red hair and her father's hair is brown."
The Perkins have been approved for another adoption. They would like to adopt maybe a 7- or 9-year-old and would like another girl. Cynthia said she knows she is going to have to practice patience again.
"Some people worry they might not love a child who was not biologically their own," Larry Jacobson said. "But I can't imagine Eli not being our child and we his parents."
Cris said she and Larry would encourage everyone to consider building their families through adoption.
"There are so many kids in the United States and beyond that need homes," she said. "It is not as difficult as one might imagine and your life will be richer for it."
National Adoption Month was celebrated in November. It is a month set aside to raise awareness about the adoption of children. The 2009 theme for National Adoption Month was, "You don't have to be perfect to be a perfect parent."
In the United States, couples hoping to adopt children have two basic options –– domestic adoption (within the United States) or international.
Other considerations in selecting the type of adoption a couple might pursue can include cost, country restrictions, open adoptions, child health and the age of the couple.
Maryville, Mo. —
