JESSE MURPHY: When things don't go your way

It's always frustrating when plans don't work out the way you want them to.

The question of whether it is your own fault or things out of your control plays a big factor, but the facts remain the same.

You have an idea in your head about how a conversation will go or a situation will play out, but reality happens and it gets all messed up.

The thing that no person on this planet can account for is the actions of everyone else and the forces of nature.

The one thing that every person CAN account for is their own actions.

My fiasco with getting promoted to the four-wheel variety of transportation has taken me down a long, twisted road, filled with ups and downs and marred with gigantic potholes.

It seems that every time you feel like you've gained a mile, you take a second to measure and you've only traveled an inch.

Our society is overloaded with self-help gurus that pitch philosophies that only work as far as the second chapter.

Not that I've read or bought into any (though maybe I should), it seems there are two schools of thought on this issue.

Take obstacles one at a time versus focus on the big picture and it will all fall together.

That's a pretty big gap between what these "successful" people claim to be the ticket down the right road.

Is it really possible to make your mind believe you can achieve the impossible, and once you believe it, the impossible happens to fall into your lap?

That doesn't sound plausible.

But can anyone really think that just focusing on today without a specific long-term goal will end up anywhere significant?

That sounds foolish.

So where does that leave us?

I will never pretend to have the answer to that question. That'd be like claiming that the egg was around way before the chicken.

But maybe it was. What if the thing that laid the egg wasn't a "chicken," but what came out of the egg was an actual chicken?

It's like planting a seed. A thing you see as just a speck that fell off of something growing in your backyard has the potential to grow into a plant that can produce flowers or fruit or whatever.

Think of that seed as an idea. Think of the idea as the difference between the chicken and the egg. Think of the chicken and the egg in terms of long/short term goals.

You really can't have one without the other. If you focus too much on today, you lose sight of tomorrow. If you care too much about tomorrow, you don't enjoy today and don't make the most out of it.

Harmony and balance in life completely depend upon acceptance. Ponder that concerning any issue you have in life, and if it doesn't apply, let me know (email address below).

I don't think anyone can exist in a good way without balance, and the problem lies in finding that balance.

We all need to realize that both the chicken AND the egg came first, because individually, one can not exist without the other.

Life will never stop throwing change-ups and nasty curveballs. That is a fact.

Choosing when to swing and when to hold the bat is the task. Just like making the choice between whether or not you want to be a "chicken" or an "egg" person.

Some like to focus on where they want to be down the road, and that's fine. Just don't lose sight of the small things that happen on a day-to-day basis that make life worth living.

And of course some are content with living for the moment, which is great as well. But there has to be some aspiration, what is fun today probably won't be that interesting 20 years from now.

To bring this back into context, being upset and frustrated about something now is not going to make it better.

You have to have a mob-style sit down with the chicken and the egg.

Between the three of you, make decisions that will lead to the best possible scenario for all involved.

Just don't ask if they prefer scrambled or over-easy.

Jesse Murphy is managing editor at the Maryville Daily Forum. He can be reached at jmurphy@maryvilledailyforum.com